Germans United for Sheep-Shagging?
Posted by Richard Conniff on December 3, 2012
Good lord, it must have been a slow news day at The Guardian. They’ve published a column about the proposed tightening of anti-bestiality laws in Germany. For some reason, they also chose to illustrate the article with a photo of an American soldier kissing a British woman on VJ Day in 1945. (Oh, wait, here’s a reason: The editors were just delighted to be able to project allegations of sexual weirdness onto anyone other than the British.) Anyway, here’s the interesting part:
There’s a vulgar joke about a man who complained of a double standard between himself and his fellow villagers: “My neighbour went bungee jumping. Once. And nobody calls him Bertram the bungee jumper. My other neighbour went to the beach. Once. Yet nobody calls him Gunther the beachgoer. But me? I shag just one goat …”
Whatever reputation the man would have acquired in Germany, he would at least have avoided legal repercussions – until now. Germany is banning bestiality, which has been legal there since 1969. The problem is consent – animals can’t give it.
Zoophiles, people who have sex with animals, are suing the German government, however, demanding the continuation of their right to practise bestiality.
You can read the rest of the article here. But take my advice: Don’t. Just savor the weird idea that anyone would come out of the barn long enough to unite on behalf of bestiality.
I’m not sure what the writer had in mind, other than meeting a deadline. But she goes on to take sheep-shagging laws in Europe as the starting point for a discussion of U.S. laws banning various sex acts between consenting adults. Adult humans, I mean.
I am thinking this will not attract anyone to saying anything but “ewwww.” Or maybe: “Ewe.”