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Man Versus Wild. Wild Wins.

Posted by Richard Conniff on February 4, 2014

The lead on Todd Masson’s story in today’s New Orleans Times-Pacayune caught my attention:

Chris Morris’ handle on a popular Louisiana hunting-and-fishing forum is “Chris Morris vs. Wild.”

On Sunday, Wild won.

Morris is apparently a hunter with a not particularly enlightened world view.  He was out squirrel hunting on Sunday, and ran into a big surprise:

Morris was moving in the general direction of the squirrel when his attention was diverted immediately and permanently from the small rodent. A 140-pound feral boar had heard Morris’ approach and jumped up from its bed only 8 feet away.

“I turned and looked, and by the time I saw it, it was 6 feet away and closing,” Morris said.

Such situations are not uncommon for hunters who target wild hogs or any other type of big game. Sometimes the hunter is on a trail that the animal intends to use, and the hunter has two options: Get out of the way, or get run over.

Morris figured he’d go with option No. 1. The furious boar, however, had no intention of simply running by Morris.

“I figured I’d just side-step it, but when I side-stepped, he lowered his center of gravity and turned on me,” Morris said. “I was going into a back-pedal, and I was in all those little saplings, trying to get the gun around and trying to do a contact shot on his head — he was right there in front of me. But I tripped and fell.

“I was on my back, and he was between my legs. I was kicking, trying to keep him away from my thighs. He was steadily just gashing back and forth. He gashed my left knee a little bit, punctured my right knee and my calf. When he did that, he actually bit me. When he grabbed my calf, I grabbed his snout.”

There they sat — the hunter and the hunted. The hog had locked its jaw, and wasn’t letting go. Morris, a Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s Office detective, had his hand wrapped around the boar’s snout, its razor-sharp tusks dripping with blood. His adrenalin wouldn’t allow him to let go either.

“I was finally able to get the gun around. I fired a shot into him, and he backed up,” Morris said.

Morris ended up in the hospital.  No word on the boar.


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