strange behaviors

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  • Richard Conniff writes about behavior, in humans and other animals, on two, four, six, and eight legs, plus the occasional slither.

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Ireland’s Shawshank Hero: Tunnels to Pub to Escape Snoring Wife

Posted by Richard Conniff on September 28, 2014

I can’t think of any plausible reason to run this piece.  Shocking news that movies produce unpredictable effects in human behavior? Um, no.  But I love the Irish in all their perversity and, wait, their penchant for strange behaviors.

Beware that the source may not be 100 (or even 30) percent reliable (“Gombeen” is an Irish term for a small-scale wheeler-dealer thief).

Any way, read it for a laugh (especially the last line):

Omagh’s ‘Shawshank Husband’

Dug Tunnel From Bedroom To Pub

Over 15 Years; Wife Snored Too Loud


3003

Kerry re-enacts escape from wife’s snoring.

An Omagh plumber tunnelled a hole from under his bed to the local pub 800 feet from his house over the course of 15 years, a court heard today.

Patsy Kerr had been summonsed to Omagh County Court after it emerged he had been the cause of a collapsed sewage pipe from a neighbouring house. Kerr told the court about his secret tunnel and the reasons behind it:

“The wife has a bad snore on her and after watching the Shawshank Redemption on RTE one night in 1994, I decided to do something about it so I waited til she was in a deep sleep and then set about digging a hole under the bed in the direction of the pub. I used all manner of tools from spoons to a heavy duty tunnel boring machine I managed to sneak down there when she was at the shops. It wasn’t until 2009 that I hit the jackpot and came up through the women’s toilet mop and bucket room.”

Kerr explained how he spent the last five years heading to the pub via his tunnel at 11pm before returning at 1am, undetected by his deep sleeping wife:

“To be honest I was sort of glad I was caught. She was always smelling drink off me in the morning and I was explaining it away as

a natural odour. But recently I was finding myself singing rebel songs and stuff coming back up the tunnel and it was only a matter of time before I was caught anyhow. The landlord was also wondering how I was just appearing out of nowhere at the same time every night and disappearing from the women’s toilets.”

The tunnel was finally discovered after the DOE performed a survey on a sewage problem which turned out to be caused by a pipe Kerr had hit accidentally, causing sewage to leak into his tunnel over five years. The judge questioned Kerr’s wife as to why she never smelt the sewage odours from her husband. Mrs Kerr simply shrugged.

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